5 steps to overcoming your fear of dating

 

It’s a tough world out there and dating is no longer a simple feat, but rather a war zone that is full of cheesy one liners, bad pick-up lines, misleading profile photos and even the odd weirdo! Needless to say sometimes it just seems a little too complicated and a lot of hard work to start dating again, and so we settle for the fact that we will just have to wait till our dream partner comes knocking on our door, like literally …and preferably holding some food or flowers! However we all know that waiting around for love to arrive without actually being proactive about it, is like waiting for world peace. In short there’s a slim chance it will happen! So it’s time to get back out there, boost your confidence and get practical in how you can beat the dating demons and maybe even start to enjoy it again.

1: Know your value

It’s easy to get discouraged after a few bad dates and even start to question our self worth due to the fact that we are STILL single. However being single is not a life sentence but rather just a transitioning season and the success or failure of your relationships (or dates) does not define who you are. You have something wonderful to offer and everyone is unique, so stop comparing yourself to others and remember that it is better to keep your standards rather than just settle for the sake of not being alone.

2: Write a list of what you want

It’s time to get specific about what you can give and what you want in a relationship. This isn’t just about the physical or talent list , this is about choosing to only date someone that lines up with your values, goals, needs and wants . There’s no point dating someone that you have nothing in common with but are attracted to, because eventually the looks won’t be enough. Set yourself up for a win by pinpointing what it is you want , then be strict with only dating ( within reason) the type of person that fits your description.

3: Have a plan of action

Now that you know what you want you need to have a game plan. This doesn’t mean that you print out WANTED posters and tape them to telegraph poles and every notice board possible! But rather you get savvy on how you can create an opportunity to meet that type of person. For example, joining a dating website or a community group, or a gym if you want a partner who’s into fitness. Whichever way you choose, you need to be proactive in trying to meet someone so choose an avenue that makes you feel confident and in control.

4: Let go of expectations

Of course dating seems scary when we have such super high expectations or have started to conjure up scenarios in our mind before we have even had the first drink together! The key is to learn to relax, have fun and let it just happen as it is. Yes you need to have a certain expectation of your date, but learn to just be in the moment rather than thinking ahead so much so that you have already decided the fate of your poor unsuspecting date! You don’t have to make a decision based off your first encounter if they are the one or not, you can just enjoy yourself and take it as it comes.

5: Keep your options open

Stop putting your eggs in one basket and limiting your options by having a closed mind. Get to know someone first before you decide if they are right for your or not, learn to have fun and try a few different people before you decide to live a life with 64 cats! Just because you had one or 12 bad dating experiences doesn’t mean that you are never going to find someone you can’t click with. If you keep getting the same results then obviously something needs to change, but that’s the good news: we are in control and therefore can choose to start making better decisions that will in turn direct us to more successful dating opportunities. So what are you waiting for? The world is your oyster and your prince or princess charming is out there wondering why you are late!

Happy Dating!

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