This is a big one right? This is what all of us women want to know and seems to be where us ladies are just left speechless and very confused. I overheard two women trying to figure it out heatedly on the tube yesterday and they were getting NOWHERE!
But don’t worry, I have some very precious and top secret info for you – straight from men about why they don’t always follow through…
Once you understand the possible reasons why he didn’t text or call you back that are within your control you can massively increase your chances of finding Mr Right. AND you can be sure that if you have all these areas covered and are not making these fatal mistakes that the only reason left is the age old classic –he’s just not that into you – and you can move on instead of wasting your precious life obsessing and trying to figure him out instead of finding the next guy who has real potential for true love.
So, here you go, some real golden nuggets that I have collected directly from hot, single guys who are out there right now on the dating scene, this is straight from the horses mouth ladies, you have been warned!
One – You Are Too Fast
Here’s the scenario: You’ve been on almost 50 dates with onliners, offliners and even your married friends scrappy seconds, all below average, some awful, most very disappointing and then BAM! He appears: Mr Potential and he totally blows your socks off.
So, you get over excited, have one too many, end up back at his and Bobs your wotsit you’ve had dessert as an entrée. Mentally you are married with kids and now you’ve slept with him you feel desperate and needy and madly in love with a virtual stranger who you think is ‘The One’.
But men don’t work like this. Unfortunately, now he’s had a bit of fun and he senses that you are mega keen he’s shifted into full flight mode and he CAN’T WAIT to get away. However sexy, funny, clever or talented you are he will simply want to run if you move forward faster than you can handle, or more quickly than he is. Please understand this: He owes you nothing. YOU decided to have sex. It means absolutely nothing other than he was physically attracted to you. End of story. Learn to wait. Just a little. Let things unfold. Be dignified and be the prize that he has to win. If he likes you he will get in touch. It really is that simple. CHILL OUT.
Two – You Are Dishonest
Dishonesty in dating takes many forms from the dwarf brigade who claim to be sprawling hunks right down to those who pretend to be someone they are not just to impress. It never works. On a more subtle level, learn how to express what you want and need, your vision that you have created of your perfect life/relationship/partner. Ask and share this with him. This is far more exciting to a man than a meaningless sexual encounter. He will feel thrilled by your courage and your clarity and see you as a precious lady that he needs to win over. If you stuff down your truth and then end up in bed because it’s easier and less risky then you just have it all upside down girls. Get the basics sorted out first and I promise you when it comes to the fun stuff it will rock you in a way that you have never imagined possible. And him too!
Three – You Are In Masculine Energy
What? How is this possible? Your hair is perfect, flowing and soft, your new dress would give J-Lo a run for her money and you have eyelashes that could cause a force gale wind indoors. But if you are in masculine energy he will just be turned off and many men have told me that this happens a lot – they have no idea why but it is a really powerful repellant. So what is masculine energy as opposed to feminine? Masculine energy comes from the following actions and if you are doing any of these you need to stop immediately and just BE! That is all you have to do as a women is to learn to just be, be still, be you and be in your feelings. Heart, not head!
Feminine energy is: Feeling, being, loving, asking, opening, trusting, receiving, smiling, holding, stopping, awareness, intuiting, guiding.
Learning how to do this takes time and practice. Start now. Stop doing for others all the time. Ask for help. Let him give to you, it’s how he gets to feel like a man.
Four –You put him before YOU
This ties in with all the other points, especially being in masculine energy but is important enough to have a section all of it’s own.
What does this look mean? So, on a date this involves saying what you think he wants to hear instead of what you really think, trying to please him, using sex to manipulate him, making his needs more important than your own, not letting him lead, acting out of fear that you are not enough. The belief that pleasing him will make him like you IS WRONG. It is a lie. Men want a woman that they have to conquer and win over. Otherwise it’s boring. Be mysterious. Leave a bit early but stay open and warm. Leave him wanting more.
Five – You didn’t let yourself get vulnerable
This is another huge one for us women. We think that men don’t like emotion, we’re taught from early on to temper ourselves and not to bother men with girly stuff like feelings. This is total BS. Men need us girls to feel connected. How? By being vulnerable. How? By being authentic and showing him the real you –warts and all! But how I hear you all ask?
Own your feelings but express them on the date as you go through the evening, make sure it’s a good mix of positive and negative. “I feel… hot, cold, happy, shy, awkward, etc etc”
That’s it. Then just wait and let him respond. You’ll quickly find out of he’s a quality guy or not and if he is he will melt! Tell him the truth about your deepest desires and your failures, share yourself honestly and he will immediately see you as girlfriend material rather than a one nighter.