As a Dating Coach and Expert, as well as a single woman who has online dated far too long (LOL!), I have heard about and experienced these obvious online dating “pet peeves” more times than I can count, but whether you are new to online dating or just needing confirmation for your online dating sanity, let’s cover some frequent issues:
1. LYING & MISREPRESENTING
Statistically, women are notorious for lying about their age and weight and men their height and income, and I am not even mad about it anymore (LOL)! The deeper lies are what get my clients and me. If you have children, say so. If you have pets, say so. If you smoke, say so. If you live in another state, say so. Tell the truth and allow the person to choose if they want to be with you. You are YOU and you have nothing to hide. Lying and misrepresenting is no way to create a healthy and real relationship and you will eventually be found out!
[Tweet “If you have kids, say so. If you have pets, say so. If you smoke, say so #onlinedating”]
2. NOT POSTING AT LEAST THREE PHOTOS & ONE FULL LENGTH
This peeve should be in the online dating handbook! I learnt years ago never to respond to a profile that contains only one photo or headshot. We have all experienced a situation in which we fall instantly “in love” (or lust) with a person’s main profile picture, only to move to photo #2 and learn that the Brad Pitt look-alike has suddenly transformed into Quasimodo! And, male clients and friends constantly complain to me about how their date had gorgeous headshots on her profile, then seemed to gain 100 lbs between the time they ended their call and met in person! Now, I am not telling you to be shallow or all about the physical attraction by any means, but posting photo options will save each of you some disappointment (notice I said “some” LOL).
I will bet my bottom dollar that if you continue endless email correspondence and even constant phone calls without meeting pretty early on, you will end up wasting time and not meeting at all! As an Expert, I recommend having a few substantial phone conversations (NOT TEXT!), then planning a date within 2 weeks! Life happens and we are all super busy these days, but we can make time to meet for an hour drink or latte! Remember, with online dating, there is a new profile being “swiped” every minute!
4. LONG DISTANCE DATING
At first long-distance dating seems fun, exciting, romantic and every visit is like a holiday! But, unless one partner in the relationship is willing to move to the other partner’s state, it will never work long-term! I have experienced this firsthand several times, until I learnt my lesson and I have clients who jump on the long-distance train, only to return with baggage and tears in hand! Remember, you have no idea what goes on when you are not there! And, worse, it has become an online dating trend now for men to so “graciously” fly a woman out for a romantic weekend, simply to have a fresh new face to share one weekend of wild sex with! Ladies, if you are down, more power to you! I just want you to choose powerfully!
5. DATE INVITATION TO “COME TO MY HOME”
Okay, so I am going to be a total hypocrite here, but an honest one (LOL)! I have done it and it doesn’t usually end well. Either the guy looked nothing like his photo and I wanted him out in five minutes or we had instant sexual chemistry and that leads to trouble! Ladies, do NOT ever go to a strange guy’s home! And, men, let’s get back to basics and start asking women out on proper dates again! I hear this complaint all the time from both men and women. They tell me how they met someone online or on Tinder and it was late and they were tired and just wanted to “hangout”, so they went to a stranger’s home and drank a few bottles of wine. Of course, pretty soon other things were “hangin’ out” (LOL)! Just realize that when you put yourself in an intimate setting without others around and add cocktails to the mix, it creates an illusion of real intimacy that does not exist on a first date! Chances are that if you start your relationship as a “booty call”, you will end your relationship as a “booty call”!